If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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