Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I have demons in me.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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(423): View more from Tennessee

By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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(954): View more from Florida

I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time

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(804): View more from Virginia

woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.

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