We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
