Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
