so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
