I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
