I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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