what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
