that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize