Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize