The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
