Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
stop calling my apartment porn island.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
