Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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