Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
