please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
