Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
