I'm so fucking centered right now
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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