you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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