North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
