Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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