no. you can't hotbox the world.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
