saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
