I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
