Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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