i don't like sucking hair
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
