she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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