It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
