oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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