the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
