I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
