whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
