my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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