i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
