Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
