The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
