How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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