its not stalking. its research.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So squirting runs in the family.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
