Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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