i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
