Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
