what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
