i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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