He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
