i used baking grease as lip gloss
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
