He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
