apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
