alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
