if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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