I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
they need to just BURY HIM!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
