By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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