went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
