i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
