i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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