You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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