I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im holly from the hills drunk
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm having to shit out rocks
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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