Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
