So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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