There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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