Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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