Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
