my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
