guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
